Most of this is based on my Personal experiences with past family members.

I make no apologies here because I believe people deserve to know the truth about these creatures, please don't suffer the way I had to, but being me, I studied hard afterwards, to get some more knowledge; and here you go:

The easiest way I can put this:

imagine a dog kept in a cage, everyday the owner arrives with a stick and hits the dog.

One one day, the dog will bark in objection, or even pain.

Now imagine that you are the dog, you will ll get hit with the stick, and again for objecting, because that "noise" may bring attention, and in the Narcissists twisted mind, you are the problem so you deserved it.

and that's how Narsissics get their 'fuel', they hook you in, mentally and sometimes physically attack you, and then make out that you are the problem.

A Narcissistic person will portray themselves as 'the life and soul of the party' outdoors, yet try to eviscerate their 'captors' indoors.

Get away as soon as you can, and protect yourself from being hit with the stick again!

 

I have heard many people refer to Narcissim as a mental illness, However, Narcissists are naturally incredibly insecure people, and in their world, they see and  blame you as the reason for their own insecurities, Personally I see this as a personality 'style', or a personality disorder,  in the same way as someone may have a 'friendly' style, or a 'happy' style, but neither of those styles, are their choice, but that's not me making excuses for them at all, and it's far more common than most realise.

 

Is narcissism a psychological issue, or merely a character disorder?

Technically, I see it as both hereditary (pathological) and phsycological, however it is actually considered to be a personality disorder by those who are medically trained in psychiatry, which I'm not, so, again,make sure you understand that My writing's are based on My own experiences of having personally suffered from these "people".

 

From my own research, I have found that knowing how to  count to 3 helps, Narcissists always portray themselves as having:

1. Grandiosity

2. A total need for admiration

3. A total lack of empathy 

These "people" are recognised by Phsychiatrists, as people with a'NPD' (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

Narcissists are pathological liars, meaning a person who lies compulsively, and habitually. They are devoid of empathy and effectely live in their own, self created, fictional world (again, in phsycology, called the persona) They are never happy, and never will be, and furthermore they have generally poor levels of education because unlike most human beings who make mistakes and learn from those mistakes, Narcissists see themselves almost as a God, so, in their heads, they do not listen to 'low lifes' such as teachers, and of course Narsissics never make any mistakes, again in their heads, so there is no use to learning, again,  in their world.

However, you may not see these traits instantly, as they will put on their best 'show' in order to suck you in.

Instead they will manipulate others, who they see as "their fuel" to gain the attention and control they want, or to protect their own self invented image, in other words you are there to be mentally & emotionally abused, and they cannot change, so don't even bother thinking you can help them, they have no morals, and no empathy, they thrive purely on their own self created grandiose image.

They create, and believe in their own self created persona. In fact, their entire existence is a lie, they cannot be believed, nor trusted, otherwise you will become the next innocent victim of their negativity, which can sometimes lead to  violent outbursts if you try to question them, or argue back. So overall, this is predominately a character 'style', or 'disorder', as I see it, and is sometimes inherited, sometimes caused by one, or both, parents. However it is not always easily seen by younger generations, so people thinking that homeschooling is easy, do need to be aware of this, and of course parents will always be bias towards their own child, which is natural, however unwhittingly causing Narcissism to "move in" is something to be aware of, and this is another very good reason to read and understand my page on THE 1ST 7 YEARS.

Definition and Characteristics

I find the easiest analogy of a Narcissist, is to imagine a dimmer switch that controls your electric lights at home. That switch is in control of your lights, which is where a Narcissist see's their place to be. However, the easiest way to override that switch is to cut the power supply. So, just to reiterate, again: walk away, and don't turn back, otherwise you will reconnect that controller whether you like that or not.

Simply put, a narcissistic person effectively believes that they own you, and your job is to polish their halo, they will think that inventing lies about you, to put you down is not only perfectly normal, it's one of their ways of controlling you, which in turn will make them appear to be the victim. So do not, ever, believe nor trust them. Today's world appears to be full of character attacks, by one person calling another a Narcissist, however this is generally carried out by people who, simply show their own low education level, by not understanding Narcissism, and therefore ridiculously  display themselves as being narcissistic! 

I believe everyone needs to learn the truth and stop assuming.

With this page I aim to challenge conventional "wisdom" and invite you to think critically about the nature of narcissism. It's far nore than just a name. You cannot simply walk away from these creatures because they will always promise you that they love you, they miss you, they will even switch on the tears to make it appear genuine, and you will just start all over again, back at the beginning, with them feeling more confident in their abuse to you, and again, them having no ability for empathy, you will be simply left to suffer.

To escape you must be very strong mentally,  you may think that the good times will return, and hope they will return, however you need to understand that the 'good times' were simply created to hook you in, they were not YOUR good times, and you (their fuel supply, AKA their property) is not to be lost easily.

Learn to say things like: "that may be your opinion, but that doesn't make it fact" when they are telling you what to do, or not to do. You must understand that in their mind, you were put on earth to worship them, so another old saying, which is worth remembering,  is a good saying: "fools rush in, where angels fear to tread".

So if you find you have suspicions about someone, then trust your suspicions; you will not, and cannot change them. Of course you will hear every word of 'sweet talk' from them, or every promise like 'I'll change', until they have hooked you back in again, with them feeling even more powerful over you.

Don't think you can easily walk away from them. In their mind they own you, they project their self invented shadow on you, and if their 'mirror' (you) shows any cracks to their projected image, they will do all they can to break that mirror (you), because in their "world" you are no good to them anymore, because you are not showing them in the way they expect to be seen. In their mentality that will often lead to them stating all their own faults to others close to you by stating that's how you are (of course they will never admit to the truth). Instead they will make you out to be the most awful person, just to protect themselves. This can lead to you becoming the "attacked" person, with family members & loved ones turning their backs on you, having given all you can to try and help them! In my experience, low levels of intelligence are certainly a factor, which is one thing they try to hide. 

If they buy an old car for £100, they will tell everyone that their car is the best car on the planet, and they bought it for an incredibly low price, after they had miraculously told the vendor why it's not worth the asking price of course.

Their rented flat, paid for by the state (they also often dont work), or the empathetic  partner/ husband/wife is the best home on the planet. They live in a completely delusional world, and will do & say anything to maintain that delusional world!

To make this very clear, I'll give one personal example: My only child passed away when she was a baby, I had the very difficult task of arranging my baby's funeral, and I personally carried my child to the service, then I just couldn't manage the final part which was the lowerng her into the ground (burial). Instead, that was, thankfully, carried out by an undertaker who I grew up with.

As I stood over her grave afterwards, completely bewildered with 'why', the narcissist who attended the funeral, approached me, tears running down his face, and I immediately thought he was actually being caring towards me, until he said 'I can't stay here anymore, that bloke I killed is buried in this graveyard', and with that he turned and walked but of course he waited outside because he needed a lift back. He had indeed killed a man years before, in a head on car collision which was proven beyond doubt, by police forensics, to have been caused by his (the narcissist's) appalling and wreckless driving. That collision left two young men without their father, and their mother without her husband, but because my only child's death, really was just an "inconvenience", but obviously my mind was otherwise engaged, I stupidly, wishfully, mistook his actions as caring. Believe me, these 'things' are not human beings! So be very careful, and do not fall for their lies and complete lack of empathy, they will hurt you mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically while you are expected to carry on polishing their self invented halo. So anyone thinking these creatures can be helped, is in need of help themselves.

The only safe way out is for you to walk, no arguments, don't even talk, no anger, no drama, just walk. Change your phone number, befriend them completely from all and any social media, and basically ghost them permanently. They will try to find 'their fuel' so be on your guard at all times, and be strong.

The negative impact on your brain, from all their mental abuse, will be very real to you!

5 common traits I noticed:

‎1. Leaves the toilet absolutely disgusting; obviously expects someone else to clean up after them.

2. Hides in the bathroom for long periods, texting, flirting, or communicating with other partners while pretending they just need “privacy.”
‎3. Hides the moment accountability shows up, then reappears like nothing happened. 

4. Often uses their car like a second bathroom; sitting out, in it for long stretches. Making private calls, or private texts, or also because they 'need space.'

‎5. Spends a long time in the bathroom, long enough to make you wonder what they're really doing in there, and when you ask what took so long?  Your question becomes the problem!

Now, the raw truths